ABOUT ME
I am a recovered alcoholic and addict, I am suicide survivor but most importantly, today I am a loving partner and father of two boys.
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7 years ago I was a hopeless alcoholic. I used to start drinking from the moment I woke up. I would try to drink just enough to be able to work and hold out until the end of the day when I could neck a hip flask of Jim Beam on my train ride home and then at home hit the bottle properly where nobody could see me.
Aside from going to work, I had little or no interactions with the world around me and my bedroom looked like a mass grave of Jim Beam bottles. This had been my “life” for a number of years and I was quickly running out of energy to continue. On Labour Day weekend of 2012 I attempted suicide and am only alive today by chance. My family bundled me off to rehab where I was told that I would be dead in a year if I continued drinking like I did. My liver was packing up and I had the early signs of Korsakoff Syndrome. Unfortunately for me, that experience was not enough to get me sober - something that had nothing to do with the program and everything to do with me. I spent the next 8 months drinking more that I ever had before, pretty much a litre of Jim Beam a night, and sporadically trying in vain to stop. My body was starting to shut down, my hands shook so badly that I could not write or use utensils. My body was so dependent on alcohol that I could not go more than a few hours without severe withdrawals beginning to cripple me. 
Dominique and I before our first open water swim in March 2016
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I was, however, able to have my last drink and my first day of sober life began on the 9th of February 2013. The first 5 days were literally a life-threatening roller coaster as I went through detox without any assistance (this is dangerous and not recommended). One the hardest things to come to terms with in the early days is not being able to comprehend not ever drinking again. I stumbled here so many times because I was in so much physical and mental pain that the thought of living like this forever became worse than drinking. I managed to move through this time, supported by the AA community and my family and before I knew it, my sober days were steadily increasing.
When my sober life began I made a promise to myself to live my life to the fullest, to illustrate through action that I was a different person. In early sobriety I met my partner, Dominique, who is the most amazing woman I have ever met, and two years later I was blessed with the birth of my first son. I started swimming in 2016 to support Dominique’s ambition to take part in the famous Lorne Pier 2 Pub open water swim so we started training together. Open water swimming, and in particular long distance swimming has given me a lease on life and allows me to constantly strive to change. I am now using swimming as medium to promote recovery from addiction and to raise funds to enable recovery in others. |
In swimming I found a way to change my life again, to use it as a means to make amends to myself." |
